Which Woman Would You Like to BE–“a powerful woman” or “a woman in her own power?”

First, lets define what we mean by these two descriptions so we know the difference for purposes of helping us explore how we can become the best version of ourselves–a “woman in her own power” who is grounded in her own true self…rather than a “powerful” woman who reacts to the expectations of a patriarchal society believing that this is how she must be to succeed in life.

  • “A powerful woman” is more of an ego-centric woman. She holds or wants to hold the authority to make important decisions. In other words, she strives ardently to hold positions at the top…of businesses and public offices. Or if she doesn’t happen to hold a high position, she still holds a high opinion of herself and is aggressive in “making her point.” Ironically, she behaves this way because she is not satisfied with who she is (to the point of a deep dislike) and is constantly trying to become successful so she can avoid feeling this. Subconsciously she doubts herself often and thus projects false confidence. A powerful woman focuses on patriarchal values of fame and fortune and tends to be rather bold and arrogant, the egoistic energy of confidence. She hones her masculine qualities and suppresses her feminine. Her leadership style is focused on “control”–she thrives on control over all aspects of her life and over others for her own agenda. She is critical and judgmental…yet thinks she is diplomatic. She uses her title and accomplishments to feel fulfilled and as measures of her self-worth. She tries hard to prove she is better than men…worried most of the time about what they are thinking and saying about her. She is often unaware of her prejudice and thus behaves with disrespect and bias. She makes decisions and relates to others from a competitive, rather than collaborative, perspective. She faces challenges by bracing herself, standing tall in hubris. She aggressively resists rejection and disappointments being quick to blame others as incompetent or wrong. She often lets stress and worry get the better of her. In the end, she continues to play the game of the masculine and actually perpetuates the status quo of male-dominance…because she suppresses her true self over time she becomes aggressive/strident and ultimately frustrated with others, and herself.

Steeped in the material world, the world of the ego-mind, a “powerful woman” has little connection to healthy emotional or heartfelt values. She is disconnected from her body…having little experience of her innate sovereign self. And thus thinks she is alone in life and needs to do this all on her own.

A powerful woman is not a bad person, yet often tired and unhappy. She may have become quite successful yet has she listened to her true heart and honored her soul in the process–is she genuinely happy and truly successful? Getting caught up in “gaining power” she often has gotten distracted from what holds deep meaning in life.

  • HER ONLY MOTIVATION IS TO “GET TO THE TOP” AND SO SHE IS MOTIVATED BY FEAR…which is spawned by low-self esteem and fueled by misguided guilt and shame.

“A woman in her own power” is a more body-centric woman. She may or may not hold a high-ranking position yet she is inwardly confident…she feels self-empowered. She has a good balance of her masculine and feminine qualities…knowing when to temper logic with compassion. She has an understanding and acceptance about the ebbs and flows of life. She knows the art of ‘neutrality’–meaning she is passionate about life and yet centered so that she is strong enough to handle challenges that come along without defaulting into drama and negativity—without letting fear become the driving force. She feels content and satisfied in who she is. Her motivation is to be in integrity with her true, with her sacred, self…in thought, word and deed. She focuses on putting forth the best of who she is, her talents, intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, diligence, and effort for the betterment of others, and of herself, and of the planet. Her leadership is focused on collaboration–subjugating her personal agenda and ego to that of the collective. Her agenda is the well-being of society and community. And yet she is also highly conscious of her own needs and never confuses subjugating her ego for being submissive. She has strong self-respect and therefore great respect for all others. She is a woman who is willing to be humble to what she can learn (even from men) while staying connected to what is true for her as her guiding principle in life. She is aware of and positively manages her gender, racial, religious biases knowing that she wants to work toward greater tolerance and acceptance…and ultimately appreciation. She knows judgment and criticism shuts relationships down. Rather she stays open, curious, considerate. She is a woman who knows that her true purpose is her path of service to all and the planet and that this is the most important aspect of her life. She faces challenges with a strong heart and clear mind and stands tall with humility and accountability.She is open to other perspectives, wisely asks for help when she needs it. She accepts that she will be disappointed in life and holds these experiences as opportunities to gain insights about who she truly is and what she truly wants—even willing to let go of long-held dreams because committed to her own evolution she realizes they were more visions of her ego rather than of her soul. She knows she is not perfect and has not done everything perfectly in life yet she forgives her failings, has gratitude for the lesson, and commits to continue to elevate her consciousness.

A woman in her own power is energized, confident, and happy. She is highly-conscious of her body and aware of her sovereign vibe always. She has learned how to follow her heart and listen to her inner knowing to guide her along her journey in life and confidently embraces all that she faces…she is genuinely happy and content. She trusts she is guided by divine sources and trusts her inner knowing.



It is important to make the point that a woman who is in her own power makes the best powerful woman.

How to be a woman in her own power is to feel like one…is to behave like one.

To put this in very simple terms, the truth is on some level we are both of these women, shifting in and out, depending upon what we are facing in life. When we get frightened, we tend to become “a powerful woman”–reacting from fear we become dominating, narrow-focused, and unintelligent. When we feel calm and faithful we respond as ” a woman in her power”–responding from love we become collaborative, open-minded, and wise. And we know when we are being one or the other because of how we are behaving and how we feel (physically and emotionally).

So the opportunity is to learn how to keep ourselves connected to our inner power during our day/life as much as we can…by being aware of how we feel in any given moment and using the skills we have to dissolve negative feelings and thoughts. Trying to change how we are thinking in any given moment by trying to change our mind and what we are feeling can be difficult, especially if we are pretty worked up. Yet since we have learned that our body shapes our mind we can improve how our body feels and thus improve how we are thinking and feeling. When we are tense the flow of divine energy in our body is congested and thus we think more negative thoughts–we find ourselves in a cycle of body/mind stress. Yet this is rather easily remedied. We can interrupt our negative thinking by changing the energy flow in our body—by breathing deeply and standing strong. This instantly breaks the negative cycle by re-opening the channels to our true, and calm, inner self. For most of us, shifting our body and paying attention to the positive sensations results in a quicker transformation than trying to convince ourselves to stop thinking what we are thinking and “think positively.” Instead we can get there, by relaxing our body–this gives our immune system a boost and positively changes the chemistry in our brain so we think better and therefore behave better. Now we are turning the body/mind cycle in a positive direction.

To help ourselves learn how to shift our body/mind cycle and transform ourselves into “a woman in her own power”, we need to understand how differently these two “vibes” feel in our body and the emotional disposition she tends to have so we can become skilled at being aware when we are disconnected from our true self…this gives us the power to change it.

A Powerful Woman

  • “a powerful woman”…feels TENSE, uncomfortable, insecure and arrogant…physically exhausted and lethargic. She often has poor posture…and aches and pains. She has a cranky or stern expression and disposition. Her tone of voice is usually high in anxiety or heavy in depression. She avoids eye contact and often speaks quickly or overly slowly. She angers easily and becomes critical, demanding, blaming. She focuses on being impressive rather than collaborative often speaking over others. Faced with challenges she often becomes stressed. She tells people what to do. Because she is intolerant she is often impatient. She can behave with bias and disrespect. She has a hard time focusing on the big picture–getting myopic about a topic. She has a hard time listening and often interrupts others. Her overall vibe is usually erratic, irritated, agitated, elevated, tense–strident. She often walks fast or with a heavy foot. And what is underneath all of this is fear…she is afraid she is not good enough, not making the right decisions, not capable/competent enough, not attractive enough. She feels alone. YET, she is very unaware of all this and thus behaves the way she does. Her “presence’ is transforming…yet in a negative way: draining energy out of the environment and those around her.

A Woman in Her Power

  • “a woman in her power” feels CALM–her body is relaxed and her mind at ease. Her channels to her inner self are open and she feels physically energized and vibrant, alive. She has good posture and smiles a lot. She walks slowly and a “grounded” foot–with “presence”. She looks people in the eye and has patience to listen completely. Her energy is flowing–her vibe smooth, light, free, generous, graceful and easy. Faced with challenges she is relaxed and open, trying to find the root of the problem and solving it. She is discerning and speaks her truth even when she is afraid of what others think. She does not become arrogant and critical, trying to make others wrong or blame them because they may not agree with her. She also does not disrespect others because they disrespect her…she does not pick a fight. Rather her intention is to be tolerant and patient in order to foster the possibility of dialogue to make the situation, the relationship better. She praises and cheers. It does not mean she never gets stressed yet she knows how to get back on track. She is collaborative and takes the lead in supporting others through challenges and failures helping them learn and grow. Her manners are respectful, calm and gracious. Her thinking clear and decisive. She behaves without bias—managing her ignorance until she understands better. Her “presence” is positively transforming: uplifting the atmosphere, the situation, and those around her. She expects to be respected yet never presses for it but rather stays calm and leaves.

how you expresS Yourself in the world…influences becoming the woman you want to be.

It is your choice. 

HOW TO RE-CONNECT WITH YOUR INNER POWER…you access the Vibe of Your Inner Wisdom by using your body.” Remember: YOUR BODY SHAPES YOUR MIND… AND YOUR SMILE CHANGES THE WORLD!


Good Posture and Positive Body-Language instantly helps you feel better energy flow in your body. You actually are re-balancing your feminine and masculine vibes and you begin to regain your self-esteem and confidence–stoking up your personal power. You feel the soft vibes of feminine qualities of compassion, creativity and sensuality (your body) partnering with energizing vibes of masculine qualities of decisiveness, action, and logic (your mind) flowing through you. These blend into a yummy, soothing, sensual, sacred vibration…your true self. You will feel instantly good…you feel confident and good about yourself and thus much less likely to over-react.

Rooting into the Earth and reaching up toward the Cosmos, you feel balanced in body (feminine) and mind (masculine). You begin to understand your calling and mission in life. You feel powerful not in an egoistic way but rather in a heartfelt, passionate, intelligent, objective, creative, inspired way. Standing tall and confident you know who you truly are—you become clear of your core beliefs and deep values. Now capable of maintaining your personal boundaries, you see life more objectively and take things more in stride—being more tolerant, compassionate, purposeful, less blaming, resentful and victimized. You decide to express yourself with good posture and gracious, respectful gestures and even choose words wisely—words that are less inflammatory and passively aggressive and more direct and complimentary. This invites more trust, connection and intimacy. This generates positive interactions with others, particularly men. You cooperate and collaborate readily and give and receive ideas, kindness, love, and support in equal measure. You release trying to change men and wishing “things” were different and instead focus on expanding your own understanding of life and becoming your best version.

You are “a woman in her own power.”