We actually don’t know what LOVE really is. What we think LOVE is comes from our ego and creates Drama. What LOVE really is comes from the heart and creates only ease…(no matter what).
LOVE is a Vibe…not an emotion or behavior. LOVE is the energy of God, The Universe flowing through you. How you know, is you feel good, remarkably both alive and at peace. You feel patient, compassionate, and wise. Any other sensation or emotion is the evidence of dysfunctional relating–to others, to earth, to life.
LOVE is a way of being–vibing goodvibes, godvibes.
We misunderstand. We think the greatest gift we can give and receive is LOVE. YET LOVE CANNOT BE GIVEN OR RECEIVED. LOVE is a vibration that arises from one’s Heart, from Nature, from the Formless. Tragically, what we call “Love” is actually a way of relating to each other and to LIFE out of FEAR. We try to control and manipulate outcomes, each other, and Nature in the name of LOVE–which only creates drama or tug-o-wars–the vibration of FEAR. We blame each other (especially mom) for not giving us enough LOVE. Yet our greatest struggle in Life doesn’t come from “not getting the LOVE we needed” but rather from how we resist the true meaning of LOVE. LOVE is our connection to each other of course, yet it needs to be sourced in our connection with the Divine to be “real love or LOVE.”
love it not personal but rather universal energy. We tap into it when our Heart is Open. We know we are connected to the LOVE-Vibe of the Universe when we feel a yummy, relaxing, joyous energy flow through our body.
LOVE is felt in our body not in our mind. It is centered in the Heart, the area in our body where the vibrations of the Divine merge with our experience of this world. The vibrations of our Heart help us make meaning out of all that we experience. Aware of this and learning how to work with our body’s energy and sensations is great power in cultivating the Life we desire. Yet because of our worldview, our patriarchal values and behaviors, we suppress this yummy sensation–dismissing it from having any real value in the course of our Life. And so we relegate our body to be in service to our Ego. So conditioned toward this predisposition of thinking of God, of the Divine, from egoistic, mental constructs, we are not sure how to “reconnect with the “true god”, the God of our Hearts.” Feeling empty as a result, we incessantly look outside ourselves for Love and give our power away to the material world–expecting others and wealth to help us feel loved and fulfilled. We are caught in a vicious cycle of loneliness and fear. Ironically, we know deep within this will never work, and yet not sure what to do about it.
LOVE CANNOT BE GIVEN OR RECEIVED. LOVE JUST IS…a VIBE. LOVE ENVELOPES WHAT IS AND TRANSFORMS IT–it eases struggle and illuminates joy.
LOVE is vibration. In other words, LOVE is a way of being…that results from our being awake to these goodvibes-godvibes flowing within our Body. They are innate. You feel and become conscious of the Divine Being that you are…and your feelings, thoughts, and actions are spontaneous extensions of this energy and thus are wise and gracious. LOVE is honoring this divinity within yourself and within another–NAMASTE. And the behavior of LOVE is bringing this Vibe into your relationship with others, with the planet, and most especially, with your Self. To be more specific, LOVE is being of integrity–LOVE is the vibration that is the experience of being aligned with the Truth of Who You Are, aligned with your Heart-Vibe. LOVE is being responsible and accountable for one’s own happiness and peace. Conscious of the LOVE-Vibe, you feel infused with the power to be non-attached to another and to outcomes. You care, yet are not controlled by what another feels or does, or by what happens in the circumstances of your Life. Centered in the LOVE-vibe within your Heart, you KNOW that all that occurs are opportunities for your practice to awaken and evolve into higher consciousness…vibrate more LOVE.
LOVE is free of judgment and manipulation. LOVE is free of drama. LOVE is freedom–in its frequency of vibration flows acceptance, allowance, appreciation. In other words, feeling LOVE is not dependent upon who is in your life, or what is happening in your life, or what you have in your life. Actually these have nothing to do with LOVE but rather Ego. LOVE is simply the vibration of the container (your body: physical and subtle and auric) in which the experiences of your Life are held. LOVE is YOU. Staying centered in Your Self–i.e. aware of the LOVE-VIBE within–you can release yourself from the dysfunctional power of your Ego. You are free from being influenced by what others think of you–which is rooted in the dysfunctional beliefs you have about yourself. Awake to the LOVE-Vibe within you, you begin to dissolve the negative self judgement that holds you back and limits your life-experience and you become Free. You awake to your power to LOVE and BE LOVE–to be of HEART–authenticity, integrity, genuineness, compassion, kindness, discernment, creativity and truth. You become PRESENT.
LOVE is seeing and being the sacredness of LIFE.
Life is what’s happening NOW. Love is showing up to it as our most sacred self. love is simply “being present.”
Many might argue that this understanding of LOVE is self-centered–putting our own self before others and leads to disconnect–not caring enough about another or not caring about what is going on in the world–and that this will lead to irresponsibility and apathy…and so on, Yet, it is quite the opposite. It is not the world we need to be responsible for but ourselves. The Divine Truth is that focusing on loving our selves above all else will make us the most loving people in the world—we want for nothing from anyone else and thus are generous and authentic of spirit, true of heart. However, we have some work to do to find this “path with heart” (J Kornfield) in life. We first need to be honest and admit that most of our “caring” and “love” for others and “being responsible and getting involved” come from our own neediness, our own insecurity…our own agenda to control someone or get something–recognition, attention, affection, sex, wealth, security, etc., such things that stroke our ego and we define as “love.” Spouses control spouses so they feel safe and attractive/desired. Parents control children to be their pride and joy or at least not “their” failure. Siblings control siblings to gain parental love. Boyfriends-girlfriends control boyfriends-girlfriends to get married, not be alone. Friends control friends to feel important, and so on. And we have to admit that in these dynamics rather than feeling fulfilled and open-hearted, we still feel very empty.
The “love” we hope for from the world, is not really LOVE but rather Ego gratification or pride. Because we are egocentric beings, part of this patriarchal collective consciousness that says “we must always strive to get ahead, become more, have more,” we are very insecure because we believe we are and “never will be enough.” Though an accomplishment/wealth or relationship may feel good for a while, this is shallow and short-lived…or rather, does not penetrate the Heart. The achievements don’t touch the authenticity of who we truly are and the relationships don’t allow genuine expression of our true self and thus all of life feels unfulfilling. And so we chase for more—we think and say and do to impress others and all in the name of Love (often called Passion).
This “false love” is sourced in FEAR. And our FEAR is the result of our insecurity and loneliness, and our loneliness is a result of our feeling disconnected: disconnected from the magic and mystery of LIFE, from the Divine. In other words, our fear and loneliness come from our lack of awareness that we are “always connected and never alone–that we are part of a Universe and (to stroke our ego J) a very important part.” In our connection there is innate LOVE and unlimited resource to support us through our challenges and karmic experiences, and bring us forward into greater consciousness of the Spiritual. Yet, up to now we have decided to ignore this vibration within ourselves. Yet if we truly want to experience pure LOVE, we need to heal and learn how to feel this. In the experience of the LOVE-VIBE, our Ego softens and what we believe and how we behave transforms. We are transformed and how we see our purpose in LIFE spontaneously arises–to LOVE and be LOVED. We need to awaken so this vibration of truth because this makes the vibrations that are always flowing through flow more strongly helping to dissolve all doubt—expanding our confidence in Life and rooting it in the Sacred. We need to become so in tune with this vibration so that when we do fall into doubt, which we will many times, we can reconnect instantly and are centered again. We will become so skilled at this, until one day this sense of connection and confidence becomes our way of Being. How? It takes practice. Just as we conditioned to our current egoistic perspective, becoming aware of the truth of our connection to the Sacred, aware of our Divine Truth, will also take conditioning. Here is a clue to the practice: “get back in your body.”
The only way that we can truly LOVE and authentically care about others, about anything in life, is to first feel LOVED–to genuinely love and care about ourselves, our body, our mind, our spirit, our earthly connection. We must realize that waiting till others love us so we feel lovable will never work. We are looking in the wrong place and we are giving our power away. The LOVE we seek comes not from without but from within–from alignment with our own True Heart–from authenticity and integrity with our Soul’s knowing and purpose–from the sense of “connection to something Divine.” Meaning, often times we try to “tell ourselves” that we love ourselves. Yet LOVE is not a mental concept and thus SELFLOVE does not come from an inner dialogue trying to convince ourselves how to love our self. Rather, we merely need to open to the yummy, good-feeling, peaceful vibrations within our own Heart. This sensation puts us in the stream of LOVE energy both physically and mentally. We are fully conscious of Who we are, both human and divine. This puts us in the PRESENT MOMENT, the moment of LOVE which is the moment where we open to experience, to consider the possibilities of LIFE and feel the power to create. And thus we are in touch with our greatest power in Life…to choose what to feel, think, do and say, our power to create this moment for the highest good of our self and others. We have fallen-in-love with our self genuinely, authentically, spontaneously, naturally.
THE PRESENT MOMENT IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUR SELF.
We choose either LOVE or FEAR. This creates the quality of our Life–satisfaction or dissatisfaction, ease or struggle, acceptance or judgment, peace or war. In this moment of PRESENCE, present to our divine, loving, true self, what we have to give others is not our attempt to get something back to fill our empty heart but rather is a genuine and pure offering from an already full and wise heart. This is the energy that connects us Heart to Heart and the salve heals the world. And what is most remarkable about feeling the LOVE-Vibe within and emanating it out to the world, is that this calls to us the same, the matching vibrations–the Love we seek is drawn to us and it is a healthy Love. Contrary, if we don’t feel a genuine vibration of LOVE within our own body and psyche, we have nothing but “drama” to offer the world contributing only more disruption and pain, creating only more FEAR.
Now reading this, it may all sound wonderful and you can feel the truth of it in your own Heart and yet one may be thinking that this is quite a journey to undertake and doubt if we can really do it—find the Truth of our Heart and Soul and LIVE LOVE. We are so conditioned to a our egocentric understanding of Love, that defined by society, religion, economy, politics, and education, that it is very difficult to get outside of this paradigm into the realm of the Divine, the realm of Creation, and see the Truth. Yet if you are brave of heart, here is the way: “get back in your body”—in this second right now, you only need to put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and feel the energy that first stirs in the center of your chest and then begins to emanate out through your body. And notice how you feel physically and emotionally, and what you are beginning to think about. This is the Divine speaking to you.
BODYLOVE, SELFLOVE, OTHERLOVE, PLANETLOVE, DIVINELOVE
Living Love means we need to Vibe Love. What exactly does this mean in “real life experience?”
Our body is energy and vibrates. Our energy ripples out and changes the vibration near and wide in the world. How we vibrate influences everything around us—our energy intermingles with that of other people influencing how they feel in our presence, even what they may be thinking and their mood. Our vibe influences the dynamics of a situation or interaction, the energy in a room, even in nature.
We have full control over how we vibrate, meaning we have full control over the impact we have. We will choose vibrations that are resonant with either LOVE or FEAR. How we choose depends upon our consciousness. If we are more mind-centric, we have a tendency to depend upon our egoistic view of Life. Our mind chooses our responses to Life based upon what our Ego has come to believe and value, meaning based upon what it already knows. This perspective is tied to the dynamics of the material world, and thus pretty much a one-track perspective functioning from what it already knows, from the “been there, done that.” As a result of this belief system, our ego-mind will primarily default to FEAR, a fear of lack, a fear of endings, a fear of never becoming or having what it should become or have. Whereas, our body, however, is the sacred vessel of our Spirit, the home of our Soul on Earth, and thus connected to the Divine realm, to the Unknown–open to all possibility, open to Creation. It will always choose to vibrate LOVE, the vibration of Creation Itself.
Unfortunately, our Ego has become so strong that we have a tendency to shut off our awareness of this Wisdom within our body and because of our Ego’s “me-centric, materialistic” perspective which creates a concern about lack and survival, we usually feel anxiety and tension–and “vibe FEAR.” As a result of this FEAR, we try to fix our discomfort through concepts and beliefs that we know and thus continue along a path toward the future that is much like what we have already lived–always interacting with Life from what we know and how we have done things in the past. The challenge is that as a result, we don’t grow or evolve, and this eventually becomes hard on our psyche and spirit and makes Life feel difficult. Disconnected from our body, from a sense of the Spiritual, we feel alone. We have no inner resource to lean on for guidance and new solutions and we become scared, frustrated and disappointed. After a while, even these “dramatic” experiences that have kept us engaged with a sense of passion and purpose, so to speak, become boring. We become tired and feel hopeless. However, if we can cultivate a way to be conscious of the vibrations within our body and learn to trust in their guidance, we use this to temper our over-active Ego, and become more creative about how to keep growing in life–challenging ourselves with new ideas and behaviors, breaking out of the past and status quo, breaking out of the boredom of the “been there, done that,”and breaking out of the incessant disappointment of our Ego-driven consciousness that is attached to the limitations of the “material world.”
Living Love means we need to Vibe Love. What exactly does this mean in “real life experience?” It means LOVING YOURSELF. What exactly does that mean in “real life experience.?
We are never going to be successful at “loving our self” by trying to convince ourselves we should “love our self.” Why? LOVE is not a mind construct. Our thoughts reflect the sensation of LOVE yet they cannot create authentic LOVE. LOVE is a sacred vibration of the Universe. And it flows through us, around us and from us. The vibration of LOVE is smooth, flowing, expansive, peaceful. “VIBING LOVE,” we infuse every situation, especially the hard ones, with presence: we vibe compassion, kindness, empathy, acceptance, humility, patience, tolerance, softness, humor, appreciation, intelligence, and wisdom…and we behave with grace. These are the true expressions of LOVE–and they arise spontaneously rather than are some emotion or character virtue that we think we can conjure in our mind and tell ourselves we should feel about our self and offer another (or a situation).
The emotion of LOVE generates in the body and is complete ease, peace, acceptance–which is deeper than “unconditional love.” If you think about it, “unconditional” means that there are some “conditions” you are willing to release or forgive–requiring you make some judgment. LOVE is simply “being present with what is” and thus “conditional-unconditional” doesn’t really apply. This means, we allow our open, honest feelings and thus express ourselves openly, honestly, yet with grace and consideration. We allow others and situations to be as they are, expressing themselves openly and honestly. We let go of the ego tug-o-war we battle within ourselves and with others when our expectations are not met and we are disappointed. Instead, we search within until we find the “still-point”–the portal to the stream of LOVE-Vibrations–accessing the Wisdom of our Heart. How many times, have we “acted out”with emotion, judgment, and manipulation only to admit later when we have centered and calmed down that it came from our Ego, from FEAR, rather than LOVE, generating “drama” and so end up regretting our behavior? And now having more to negativity in life than necessary.
Finding the still-point within, brings us home to our Truth, to our Soul Purpose of Expanding LOVE….and this makes us feel good. LOVE is sitting in peace and gratitude amidst our own inner struggle with self-judgments and regrets until they subside. LOVE is standing still or walking away in peace and gratitude from connections-relationships-situations that “are not a fit, not a resonant vibe” rather than continuing to pull on the rope and exhaust everyone by trying to change things, change others. LOVE is letting go of Drama. In other words, rather than trying to “convince” others (even yourself) of your point of view of how to get more love and peace in the world, what if you were simply vibing your point of view—VIBING PEACE, LIVING LOVE?
LIFE IS WHAT’S HAPPENING NOW
LOVE IS HOW WE SHOw UP TO IT.
LOVE IS PRESENCE.
love is simply being at ease with this moment right now.
Living from a more LOVE-centric perspective requires we awaken to our misunderstanding of LOVE. This begins with admitting how egoistic we are. This helps us become more humble so we can start to release the power our Ego has over our Life and allow guidance to come from deep within–i.e. rather than from our mind (or from someone else). LOVE is admitting and accepting that Life is hard and always will be, and yet still taking responsibility and finding the courage to do what we can to make it better, easier, more simple…far less “dramatic.”. It sounds super negative but Life will never be completely comfortable or painfree because it is LIFE, always changing, always impermanent, always surprising and challenging. LOVE is embracing that about LIFE. LOVE is staying calm in the midst of this chaos called LIFE. And who knew, LIFE actually doesn’t seem so hard then–we even start to enjoy it a bit. Wallowing in self-pity and resentment is not LOVE but rather FEAR, the vibration as the victim.
.LOVE is always seeking Beauty, Truth, and JOY. LOVE is priceless. LOVE is being our most compassionate selves while experiencing our pain and disappointment.
LOVE is about “how we relate,” it is about “who we are.”
LOVE is not really about what we “share” with each other but about how we “relate” to each other–who we are in each other’s presence. In other words, LOVE is a vibration and is felt by the other through their body. Many of us mistake the emotional interaction that we express/share with each other as LOVE. Yet the majority of the time it is merely a way of trying to give or get what we want from the other. Related to this, we believe that the amount of anxiousness and drama, what we often call passion, that we put ourselves through because of another is evidence of the depth of our Love. It actually is evidence of how needy and insecure we are–evidence of our low self-esteem and spiritual shallowness. Because of our belief system, we misunderstand LOVE and thus make it a very messy, dramatic experience in our life–trying to control each other to “get Love and give Love.” We have minimized LOVE to an unhealthy emotion–one tied to “survival”–survival from being alone, from financial burden, from self-loathing. What we are or are not getting from someone becomes a measure of our worth, a part of our identity. What we are giving them becomes a way of measuring how much we value them.
Perversely, we equate Love with Drama–control, possession, and manipulation. When we think we “love someone, love something,” we become obsessive, “passionate” about how to “get it”. We are filled with disappointment when we don’t and yet, we also become quickly disinterested when we do. This is our dysfunction, leading of course to all sorts of stress and drama. As a result, we attack each other with “Love”–“you don’t love me enough. I would love you more if only you would, it’s your fault I don’t feel good about myself, I am the only one working on this relationship, you don’t contribute enough money… and so on. We are in a tug-o-war for acknowledgment, attention, affection, acceptance, sex, money, and more. It ends up becoming a series of interactions filled with judgments and negative emotions blaming each other for our stress and fear in life, blaming each other for our deep suffering and unhappiness in Life. We have completely given away our sovereign power and are victimized…and we are the only ones to look to or “blame.”
Not fully understanding the essence of “true love or LOVE,” we are addicted to drama, an addiction caused by our patriarchal beliefs. It’s torturous. It’s exhausting. The root of our addiction is the belief in our society that “it is never enough–and if we don’t get more we won’t survive, we won’t live a meaningful life.” We apply this to not only our material wealth but to Love. And yet ironically, we are completely mistaken about what it takes to survive, and especially, what it takes to live a meaningful life, what it takes to Love authentically. We have a hole within our heart that we can’t seem to fill, it is bottomless. We often cry tears of melancholy because our incessant struggle with life never seems to reap the benefits we so desperately want and fill the hole. And that is the point, we keep feeling desperate, feeling lost and empty, unwanted, and not knowing how to help ourselves. In such pain, we project our personal frustration out on the world, particularly into our intimate connections and call this Love—“if you love me enough you will fix me.” And of course, we know that is impossible. We are in this dilemma because we are a society that has no spiritual underpinning…we have no sense of connection with each other because we have no sense of connection with the Divine–this is the Hole. We relate solely within this 3D world and refuse to accept there is so much more than this…and that makes us terribly depressed and desperate because we are trying to get a feeling of LOVE which is limitless from the limited world. In this paradigm, there is no chance of finding peace . Our Ego keeps our imagination–that which explores the limitless–in check so it keeps this value system, this mindset and mood, in place. We are vibing low vibes.
The opposite is the case when we are the Vibe of LOVE. We have no hole–replaced with a commitment to continue to be awake to the divine vibes within our body. Feeling calmer, we put down the rope in the tug-o-war of life because we care more about connecting rather than wining, rather than whining. Instead of incessantly tugging on the rope where we are hunched over and struggling, we let go and stand tall, with humility and strength, and breathe with ease. We look each other in the eye and see each other. We relinquish any judgment or control over how they choose to live. We relinquish being upset about how they judge and try to control us. Especially, we give up trying to control how they do or don’t love us–we let go of trying to make them responsible for our happiness and feeling safe–responsible for our identity: that we are worth knowing and loving. We let go of the desperation of “having to have something we deeply want” because we accept that we may not always know what is best for us–and in fact this desire most likely came from our Ego and not our Heart. We focus instead on surrendering our idea of life and open to trusting the Universe. Let go, let God. We can continue to tug on the rope and keep trying to control everyone and everything trying to win. Or we could Vibe LOVE…drop the rope of drama and be humble and open to what happens now. We can release the persistent pain our resistance causes and trust if we are meant to have what we want or go where we hope, we will. This is our opportunity to be open to possibility, to partner with Life and the Divine. Can we let go of the rope?
LOVE is the Vibe of BEING. Conscious of it as the truth of Who We Are, we give up trying to control Life and instead, listen calmly to the guidance of our own Soul—our awareness is centered in our Body and we are feeling the sensations of our LOVE-VIBE. This is what it means to LOVE our self. There is no Ego aspect to this–like trying to convince ourselves that “I am smart. I am beautiful. I am successful.” LOVING yourself is simply being with the vibration of “I AM.” Therefore, we do our best to show up to every situation and relationship without forethought and judgment and instead, be curious about what we may experience/learn and what we may contribute/offer…what we may create. We are open to and willing to experience how someone truly is rather than how we want/wish them to be, open and willing to experience how Life is rather than how we wish It were. We are humble. Our intention is to be accountable for how we can respond so we expand LOVE, rather than Drama. Awakening, we begin to realize we were born with a destiny and our personal power is how we choose to respond on this journey–LOVE is the vibration of the Sovereign addressing each moment of Life with Grace.
It is not easy TO LOVE. It is impossible to live in the world and perfectly VIBE LOVE all the time. We are human after all. Therefore, it takes COMMITMENT TO find tools to help you SHIFT YOUR FEAR-VIBE back to the LOVE-VIBE…tools you will need in almost every moment of your Life. We can fool ourselves into thinking we don’t need these tools yet no matter who we are, we all struggle with this deep emptiness…and probably will for most of our life.
LOVE comes from giving up Drama and Vibing Peace…this is happiness.
Happiness comes from how much we LOVE Life. Unhappiness comes from how much we decide we should be getting from Life. Happiness comes from how much we LOVE our self and allow our self to experience all there is.
Let’s discuss LOVE a bit more.
It may sound weird yet awakening to LOVE is not fun. There is an excitement to our dysfunctional way of Love, an adrenalin rush to our drama that we have become addicted to. If we give this up we are afraid life will become less interesting, less exciting, less entertaining, even less meaningful. Drama is all around us and though we say we are in pain and uncomfortable because of it, we continue to create it over and over and over…just like addicts continue to take drugs and alcoholics take a drink. We can’t stop ourselves. Yet there is a way to freedom. LOVE. Recovery from our drama will require we be willing to be aware of our delusions about Love.
We use the word “love” to declare that we are trying to relate in a very intimate and special way to someone or something. However, how we have defined the word “Love” as a culture is not LOVE. We have defined Love from our Egoistic perspective–we have defined it as a emotion of the material world, when in truth LOVE is of the highest spiritual vibration. We look at Love as “what I can give or get from you, and from Life, that will make me feel good about me and safe in life.” This is not LOVE. So we have set ourselves up for pain rather than joy. Demanding someone be a certain way to make you happy will only draw to you someone who has their conditions about how they need you to be to make them happy. Your connection has now become an egoistic negotiation not an expression of LOVE…and triggers our addiction to drama. What we need to realize is that LOVE is an expression of our Spiritual Self, not our Human Self. If we are unable to understand this, then we will continue to be in a tug o war with each other rather than vibe LOVE. Therefore, we will only end up always feeling unloved, disappointed and depressed.
And even more primary to our suffering is how we have defined God’s love–we believe that God shows “His” love by “His” mercy, by how “He” judges us–as a “good person or bad person, as holy or lowly.” However, just by the fact that we define God as “He”, giving God a persona ( a male with thoughts and emotions), is a clue to our misunderstanding of GOD and thus of LOVE. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.
is it Love? or is it LOVE?
If we are willing to consider that we may have this all wrong, that what we think is Love is not LOVE, and what we think is God, is not GOD, we can liberate ourselves and gain perspective of how we are living our life…giving us insight into why we are in so much pain. Needing the approval and love of others, even God, in order to feel good about ourselves will never make us happy. It only makes us desperate, constantly searching for Love.
We have lost connection with our Divine Truth. Since we have gotten ourselves so confused about the true meaning and experience of Love perhaps it’s a good idea if stop for a moment, step back, and begin to consider what it is that we are really seeking. Getting to the essence of it, we are seeking connection–honest, open, intimate relatedness with someone, with Life actually. When we can stand before another or in nature and feel completely whole, completely our self, completely at peace–when we can breathe with ease and feel lightness of being, when we can stand tall, open our heart, smile big and express our true self, that is LOVE. Is how you are living life, how you are relating to life, helping you feel this way? Is how you are relating to another and them to you, helping you feel this way? Is how you are relating to God, helping you feel this way? If not, then how you are relating is not LOVE. It is merely the dysfunctional way of trying to connect that we have adopted because of false, limiting, negative beliefs we have indoctrinated into our value system. And though it may seem impossible because we identify so much with these beliefs, since beliefs are merely thoughts we have, we can change them. It will be hard to do this because they seem so unshakable, so concrete, yet we built them that way and so we can tear them down. We are the Creator. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It is up to you.
LOVE is a STATE of BEING. LOVE is BEING your TRUE SELF.
To begin to dissolve and unravel these false beliefs, our misunderstanding about LOVE, we first need to see that we have erroneously defined Love as a set of beliefs that come with a certain set of negative emotions and behaviors that we use to control others. Though our modus of operandi, on a deep level we know that this cannot be LOVE, this is not being our True Self. Now being our True Self may not always generate ease and peace with another person or even with our situation–given how they want to us to relate to them–yet being your True Self always generates peace within your own Heart and that is your purpose in life. This is LOVE.
So to better understand LOVE, perhaps it is worthwhile to look at how we relate, how we connect to another, and then from this see if there really is LOVE there. Perhaps instead of asking “how much do I love someone and how much do they love me,” so we can understand our relationship maybe it would be more informative to look at how “I relate to someone and how do they relate to me?” In other words, maybe looking at how we are behaving and at what we are giving and getting in the relationship and why we are focused on those particular things, we will begin to realize that we are not really loving them but rather trying to use them to fix something within ourselves. Perhaps instead of looking at how God, or our parents, or our children, or our partner, or society, “loves” us, maybe it would be more informative if we asked, “how does God relate to me, how do I relate to God, how do I relate to my partner and how does my partner relate to me, how do I relate to mom and how does mom relate to me?” And most importantly, how do I relate to myself? And once we have defined this “relatedness,” then we need to ask the most important question–is it healthy, does it create joy in me, does it create lightness of being in me and peace in my Heart? And if not, then why do I relate the way I do and ultimately why am I still in this relationship. This will compel us into deeper exploration, why do I continue to see Life through the beliefs that I do; and then, why do I continue to put myself in “draining” situations and relationships: and then, why do I continue to create drama in all my relationships, especially in the one with myself? Continue to slouch or stand tall? It is up to you.
The two most important relationships to look at are the ones with God and with our mother…as these seem to be the core influence on the relationship we have with our Self. Most of us relate to God and our mother through judgment. In other words, we seek their Love desperately and if we don’t feel it, we begin to believe it is because we are unworthy. We feel judged. Feeling judged, we decide we need to prove ourselves lovable and so end up withholding our True Self and doing all we can to meet God’s and mom’s expectations, to meet society’s expectations. Unfortunately, we only end up “relating disingenuously” to everyone and within every situation, …and through the rest of our life. Of course being inauthentic won’t create the real connection we crave nor keep us on our path to our full potential. And most especially, we have internalized all this and thus relate disingenuously, unkindly actually, with our Self.
Because of how we “see” Love, we keep choosing to turn over our personal power, our potential to be our best selves, to others, to mom, to society, even to God–we believe that how others treat us and what they think of us and what they tell us to do, and how they “love” us, is a reflection of our identity, of our worth as a human being. Feeling “less than” as we grow into adults, our relationships often become a tug o war…it goes something like this: “you don’t love me enough, you don’t recognize me enough, you don’t respect me enough, you don’t _____me enough, and I need you to love me just the way I want you to so I can heal, feel respected, feel loved, feel important, feel safe, because my mom forgot to do that for me and I feel so hurt and angry and you need to fix it. If you don’t, then that makes me an unlovable and unimportant person. And how dare you treat me like that.” Doesn’t this sound sad, and childish–and yet it is our normal disposition. And it is an absolute no-win situation: to give another that kind of power over us…to give our mother that much power over us, and especially to give God that much power over us, for our concept of God is the one central belief we orchestrate the direction of our life around, is very debilitating to our psyche. It is incredibly painful and so we act out, we perpetuate drama, we are addicted. However, we are awake to the problem now, and so perhaps it is time to consider new ways of Being in the world, new ways of relating to God, to mom, and to others…and most especially to our self. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.
When we stand tall, open our heart, smile big, and express our true self, that is LOVE.
The happy news is that we are awakening and have to become smarter now. We need to take responsibility for LOVING OUR SELF, for SELFLOVE. For how we SELFLOVE, influences how we OTHERLOVE, and how we OTHER LOVE influences how we PLANETLOVE. we need to take responsibility for how we are relating to ourselves. Are we respectful or relentlessly hard on our selves? We need to understand that others, and perhaps especially our mother, are just as confused about themselves and what LOVE really is as we are…they are just as wounded. So why would we let what “they” think about us matter so much–to the point of influencing our personal truth? Why would we accept the way they loved us as the meaning of LOVE? And we need to realize that to define God with human attributes is the underlying issue that is motivating all our dysfunctional beliefs and behavior in life. God is not in human form, male with emotions and thoughts and behaviors. God is God–God is LOVE-Vibration. The truth is when we allow ourselves to be aware of goodvibes that bring ease and flow into our body and peace and joy into our heart and mind, we are actually feeling godvibes and become aware of our True Self . We awaken and know we are more powerful than this victimized self, our False Self. So why do we keep functioning from this wounded perspective? Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.
LOVE OR EGO? IT’S UP TO YOU.
It is time for us to awaken and realize that LOVE is a Vibe of Being. LOVE is not a series of judgments and negative emotions–trying to control others, ourselves, Life. LOVE is the power to BE our best, our TRUE SELF, in all situations and interactions–it is the power to PARTNER WITH LIFE. LOVE is the power to allow the sacred vibrations that are innately within you to flow vibrantly into your consciousness and you feel FULFILLED, you feel LOVED. This then creates the sensation, the experience of LOVE, and you become conscious of who you truly are–YOU ARE LOVE. This fosters a healthy psyche; mental and emotional balance–healthy perspective and compassionate rationale–as differentiated from small-mindedness and righteousness. Vibing LOVE, you can now be “present”, calm and at ease with whatever is happening and respond with greater intelligence and compassion. Vibing LOVE you can now see the Divine Being, the LOVE-vibe, in your partner, in the world. NAMASTE.
From this centeredness, instead of doing the dysfunctional dance of trying to change someone to fit you, you can see if this person is a natural, true fit for you or not…and let go if not–this is TRUE ROMANTIC LOVE. Vibing LOVE, you can now see the Divine Being, the LOVE vibe, in your children, and from this centeredness treat them as powerful souls rather than those who are supposed to do what you tell them to do so you can feel like a proud parent–this is TRUE PARENTAL LOVE. Vibing LOVE, you can now see the Divine Being, the LOVE vibe, in others and from this centeredness respect what they believe and live in harmony even if you don’t agree–this is TRUE PLUTONIC LOVE. Vibing LOVE, you can see the Divine Being within your co-workers and the quality of your connection to your job and experience whether it is a fit or not–this is TRUE PROFESSIONAL LOVE. In other words, you now can partner with LIFE, try on every relationship and situation and evaluate how it serves you based upon the vibrations you feel in your body, in your Being. And most especially, you can assess how you are relating to, how you are treating, your Self…with LOVE…with lightness of being and compassion or not. If not, you need to let go of this relationship and find the one with your Self that allows you to BE YOUR TRUE SELF, TO BE LOVE ITSELF. Continue to slouch or stand tall. It’s up to you.
In conclusion, from this consciousness, we can look back and instead of struggling with feeling loved or unloved by our mother, we can instead look at how our mother “related” to us–for example, my mom was not affectionate, not attentive, was critical and judgmental, pushy and controlling, angry a lot, and so on. We took this to mean she did not Love us. The truth is that she, like so many of us struggling in life, simply was not very present, not her best self and didn’t know how to express LOVE. She was a wounded child too…and only knew what she knew was Love. In other words, how we have defined Love up to now comes from our limited consciousness about who we truly are–from our belief that we are merely human and thus don’t really have any power to explore new understandings about God, Life, and Love. Exploring our own spirituality was not permissible. Yet as we awaken, we are beginning to understand that it is just the opposite–to explore Life and thus our understanding and experience of LOVE is our purpose for existence. Being daring enough to challenge all that we have known about Love, about GOD, is how we evolve. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It is up to you.
We are beginning to realize that LOVE is not dramatic and controlling and stressful and wanting and blaming and desperate and resentful and obligatory…all the ways we use it. LOVE is simply and brilliantly a vibration, a sacred sensation that flows through us from the Cosmos. LOVE is goodvibesgodvibes. And depending upon how aligned and thus “open or closed” the channels in our body are affects the flow of this vibe into our consciousness and out into the world–through our body’s aura, through our thoughts and emotions, through our actions. This means we are choosing to be awake or not to the true meaning of LOVE, and choosing whether or not to release the dysfunctional love defined and controlled by our Ego. We have defined Love this egoistic way so we can remain in our addiction to drama. We keep getting high on the “adrenalin rush of negative, righteous emotion” so we can keep suffering. This is very weird to consider of course and yet it is the truth of our choices. This is our Ego in its most powerful and dysfunctional vibration–using the most precious aspect of our lives, Love–that which keeps us connected to God and each other–in a hugely distorted manner to keep us disconnected and unconscious. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.
Yet if we can awaken and shift our beliefs and begin to allow ourselves to feel LOVE flowing through us, we will begin to shift and raise our consciousness out of the weighty, imprisonment of 3rd dimensional living, into a more authentic, genuine, open-hearted way of life…tapping into the 4th, even 5th dimension of conscious space. Letting our awareness expand like this, LOVE-Vibe expands and dissolves our neediness, our belief that we were somehow cheated as a child from what we deserved and thus destined to never find it. This LOVE-vibration helps us look back and see our childhood with more rationale and objectivity. Vibing LOVE–taking a deep breathe, standing tall, and smiling big, and allowing goodvibesgodvibes to flow freely–you feel “present”, calm and at ease. You feel natural and empowered. Not only do we feel that we are healing from our childhood, something even more profound happens. We realize that we were and are whole, always were and will be….there really is nothing to heal from. It really is a matter of where we put our attention, what we choose to believe in, our willingness to open our mind and expand our consciousness. Feeling “present, feeling our True Self,” creates a great sense of freedom; free to feel anything we want about our self and our life, free to think anything we want, free to do anything we want, free to create our life any way we want.
Feeling free of dysfunction, our mind expands because we are standing in the HERE and NOW, in the realm of everything–past, present and future, the realm of creativity and creation, the realm of LOVE-Vibration. Filled, you exude LOVE into the world and this draws to you the “best” relationships and jobs and friends and opportunities–those that support your LOVE-vibe perspective and living. This draws to you the LOVE-Vibe in others. They are a resonance with you, a complement to your Heart and Truth. You instinctively feel and express LOVE. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.
VIBE OF LOVE. STATE OF EGO.
BREEEEAAATHE and you feel the difference from what your Ego creates in your life–the heavy, suffocating vibes of drama–and what LOVE vibrations create in your life–the lightness, flowing vibes of Joy in your body. Your Body is your Guide. As a result, you realize now what is important in life–to protect this Vibe of Being. So you choose beliefs and behaviors that resonate with this. You choose ways of thinking about and interacting with others that keep the LOVE-Vibe strong within you. Meaning, you release negative judgments and controlling behaviors and transform dramatic emotions into calming acceptance and tolerance–breeeathe. How do you know if you are releasing the grasping energy of the Ego? Take a moment and notice if you are breathing fully. Allow yourself to feel your inner world…are you calm, do you feel a spaciousness within, does your chest feel light, are you aware of an inner abiding peace? You innately know this is LOVE, the god-force within you. You know this is the reason for your existence–to dwell in this, to create from this, to expand this. You know that when you are egoistic, this energy contracts because you feel your body contract and you become disappointed and unhappy. You slouch. And now you have a reference point to know when you are in the Vibe of LOVE or in the State of EGO. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.
LOVE–The Divine Being within Me bows to the Divine Being within You–NAMASTE
A Simple, Happy, Healthy Way to Vibe Love
There is no way around this….you need to make the decision that you want to live life with greater consciousness and accountability. Meaning, it will not happen otherwise. It won’t be easy, nor fun, and life may not feel like it is getting better for a long time. Yet the opportunity to live from more from your Heart and Spirit than from your Mind and Ego is priceless. Learning to Vibe LOVE you will see the great beauty of the human experience and nature. The only alternative is to stay in the dark of fear.
1. DETOX FROM DRAMA
Detoxing will be difficult of course. Recovery from our Drama will require that we be willing to become aware of our delusions and admit our addiction to drama-adrenalin. This takes moment by moment diligence of paying attention to ourselves, to our mind. Our Ego is insidious and loves to make us think the worst about others and life, especially when we are alone. LOVE helps us be aware and thus accountable for the truth that when we are trying to manipulate others or situations for our own agenda it is because we are in pain, we are trying to fill a hole within. WE must accept our weakness and realize that instead of having the courage to feel our pain and go through it, we are trying to avoid it even to the point of making others responsible. LOVE is feeling the pain, breathing and doing nothing about it in relationship with anyone else. It is of our own making so it is of our own resolving.
Steps to Detox
Drop the rope in the tug o war of drama–you know when you are about to “get into it”…Breathe and stop. Feels so good.
Do something kind for someone or healthy for the earth–smile, breathe and do it. Feels so good.
Forgive yourself when you tug on the rope again…and start with #1. You will do it millions of times–so do
Accept that life is hard. Let go of thinking it should be all “happiness.” We don’t even really know what that is…because the happiness we seek ironically only makes us unhappy. Make your life more simple that that–that you will do what you can to not make your life harder than it needs to be
2. LET LOVE LIVE YOU.
Keep yourself conscious of your own divinity, awake to your Divine Truth and True Self, as much as you can throughout your day–not just when you are on your yoga mat or kneeling in church. You will feel good and feeling good you will think good thoughts and do good things.The Truth is we live a much happier and healthier life when we are spiritually grounded. We are learning that when we are conscious of our inner spirit, our True Self, we feel good, think more positively, behave more respectfully and with kindness…we are also much more intelligent. You could say we are much more heartfelt. We feel peaceful and calm and have no need to control anyone or anything. We stop judging others and wishing they were different. We stop wishing life were different. We begin to accept things and feel more patient. We begin to see life not as a hard challenge but as a Great Adventure. We actually feel FREE to JUST BE.
Stand Tall, Open Your Heart, and Smile Big…and let LOVE flow–goodvibesgodvibes