GETTING MEN TO THE TABLE, A DIFFERENT TABLE
The only way to get men to the table is to create a new table. We need to create a new conversation.
And then how do we motivate men to be willing to take a seat? Women cannot create more conscious and progressive work cultures alone. And we can’t try to convince men to change anymore. Instead, women need to begin to figure out ways to capture men’s attention so that they will want to partner more equitably. It would seem this is going to require courage and creativity–many, many men don’t want things to change really. To these men it means giving up power–therefore they have to have a very compelling reason–and it doesn’t seem that “making more money” is enough. Research shows that more diverse corporate cultures (i.e. more women in leadership roles) generate more profits–yet it appears that the adrenalin of having power dominates greater wealth as demonstrated by corporations continuing to keep women out of executive roles as well as the boardroom. So rather than try to persuade or convince men, which we have been doing for decades, perhaps if we step back and ask them what they want and listen completely to their answer without bias it may begin a truly authentic dialogue. If we together look at the outcomes of our past prevailing leadership paradigms we both have to admit they are not all good and this warrants that things change. Maybe just this common acknowledgement will activate the motivation in each of us to want to co-create a New World Vision. Asking enough men what they really want for themselves and the world and listening with a true heart will help us better understand why they think the way they do, why they value the things they value. Then this will help us find men who are already seeing the benefits of more diverse corporate, political and religious cultures and paradigms–cultures where women and men honor and take advantage of gender-differences and seek to end gender-biases so that the best of all perspectives and individuals can be tapped into for greater success and happiness for all. And once we have found these enlightened men, we then need to get these guys to influence their friends ;-).
Once we find our common ground we both will feel safe enough, acknowledged enough, that we can begin to feel willing to co-create and collaborate. We find that we both want to explore how to change the paradigms we all are affected by. We both want to take a re-look at the vision we hold as a society and the world and be courageous enough to admit that the one we have is not appropriate for our evolution any longer. The truth is we both aspire to love and compassion, to goodness, to peace…and that is not what we are manifesting now through our social/political/economic/religious/academic structures. If we agree to come to the table, we each need to be fully committed to raising our own consciousness in life and thus agree to want to collaborate in reviewing and evaluating the past, and without judgment/blame of the other, seeing what we can learn from it, and then co-create…together create a new world vision.
Are we both willing to do that? Are men willing to let go of some of their “dominance-power” and bias toward women? And release their attachment to patriarchal-power for the opportunity to co-create a new kind of power with women? Are women willing to let go of their attachment to victim-power and trying to get half the manpower? Are women willing to let go of our bias toward men for the opportunity to co-create a new power that benefits the world?
Men need to re-evaluate the value of the feminine, wake up to and respect her importance and stop dominating her. Women need to re-evaluate the value of the masculine, respect his importance and stop being aggressive…while not being submissive.
Now admittedly changing our perspectives, our feelings and attitudes about the other can take a while. We are trying to shift generations of beliefs and values. However, a way to begin and which will have a huge immediate impact on accelerating how we relate with one another while raising our consciousness and intrinsically motivating us to stay focused on creating a better business culture, a better society, a better world, is “our behavior” toward one another.
In conclusion, instead of telling men how they have messed up and how women could have done it better, maybe we need to back off a bit and get real with ourselves…we don’t really know how women would have done. No one is perfect. At this point the only place we can go is within.
Q is YOU suggests that we begin to explore what it means to become women in our power rather than powerful women…and that the place to start is to fall in love with our body…the holy grail of our soul, the manifested vibration of the Divine Feminine here on Earth.