WOMEN NEED TO CHANGE
…AND MEN NEED TO CHANGE TOO.
“let’s change our behavior and start a new conversation.” Pkirk
For our part, women need to step back and take a breath. We are the aggressor right now and we need to create some space so we all can think. In the quiet, we will realize that we need to forgive men for the oppression of the feminine. It’s time. And we need to forgive ourselves for betraying our true feminine nature by becoming overly masculine. Rather than continuing to “attack,” we now need to look to ourselves and search our own souls for who we truly are–what we really are meant to create and contribute to the world…and how best to do that. Once we figure this out, once women realize that our true purpose is acceptance, compassion, patience, and nurture, is love, we step back into our true identity. We reconnect with our center and begin to calm down…and thus we create space for everyone to release tension. Relaxed, we become more rational. And now we can take a more objective look at how we have been “pressing in, leaning in” and at the results this has created…and decide if we want to continue with this course of action, with this aggressive behavior. And something to consider, wouldn’t it be smart to make sure that if we are going to continue to “lean in” that we first look to see that there are men there who we can lean into?
Many of us are beginning to realize that the effort in trying to change men is futile and even really unethical. Yet we also realize that we need to have a constructive, conscious conversation with men toward change. Therefore, we need to look at what we could do to get men to the table to discuss how to make the world better. It would make sense that we first need to become clear about who we are and what our true intention is. Then we need to express our truth with grace and clarity, not anger and aggression…we need to behave as the better version of our self. We need to be transparent about what we want to discuss because men are already suspicious. It is time to let go of talking about how unfair everything is toward women and instead talk about the bigger picture. This helps us all, men and women, become re-oriented around what is truly important in the world and then discuss our common mission and strategies to get there. From this more objective perspective it would be intelligent to discuss the importance of the feminine/masculine balance to achieving our common vision…i.e. having equal male and female presence in leadership roles in business supports the best decisions. Now women playing executive roles and getting the same compensation become a business strategies rather than a moral dilemma or character judgment. It all doesn’t have to be this difficult. Yet it must be understood, as we all know, there is strong bias in the face of this situation and there are many men who will simply not be interested. Yet rather than confront them as we have been doing perhaps its time to consider searching for like-minded, like-spirited, more conscious men…and create a new conversation with them and at a different table.
THE TIME OF EVOLUTION IS NOW–BEING ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE PAST IN ORDER TO CREATE CHANGE
If we are going to be successful at starting a new conversation, then we need to let the past go. Continuing to try to prove men wrong is rather hypocritical because we women have to admit we have been a part of creating the outcomes we face today. If they have been wrong, so have we. And even if we are convinced they are more responsible for the challenges we face as a world, it does no good to keep our attention there. Forgive them and ourselves is all we can do now. And in addition, we need to be accountable as we expect men to be. Owning what we have created by how we have behaved empowers us to create and thus behave differently. As women focus on our selves and less on men, they feel this and relax some. As women focus on our own truth and awaken to our life purpose, men have space to do that for themselves as well. And perhaps we will all experience that the wisdom of our hearts gets a chance to temper the judgments of our minds.
So it seems rather important that women now begin to explore how else we could continue to gain greater influence in the world while honoring our self and men.
If women truly want to break through the glass-ceiling and religious canopy, we need to consider a completely different approach going forward…one with more sophistication and integrity than we have been using. Our mission is simple. In order for women to become more “powerful” we need to create better relationships with men. And it starts with creating better relationships with ourselves and becoming more powerful within. We need to change our perspective and beliefs about men to something more conscious, higher level, which means more respectful, appreciative, compassionate, intimate, supportive, intelligent and wise…actually we need to more genuinely honor men than we have been. And yes of course we may ask why do we have to do this? Why can’t men do the work and honor us? However, this attitude only continues to push women back into victim-hood and activate blame and criticism…this gets us no where. The war rages on and it will continue unless one of us decides to rise above and stop competing and instead behave in away that is respectful of ourselves first and then the other…this will foster the greatest possibility of authentic communication and genuine collaboration.
We women need to awaken to the truth that we are valuable, that we are good enough, as good as men. This generates the greatest feeling in the world, for when we believe in our true self we are calm and grounded, we are open and soft, we are creative, we are intelligent, we are approachable, we are compassionate and passionate, we are strong. We have no need to prove who we are and thus we have no need to press in, to be aggressive and strident, to act out and to yell at and blame men, at anyone. How others, how men, treat us, may not feel good or be respectful, even kind. Yet that is on them—unless we let it in and then it is on us. And we have a choice. We can reciprocate and behave with disrespect and lower our self. Or we can breathe, stand tall, open our hearts and smile, big, and continue to be the vibe, the woman, we want to be—a woman who brings peace rather than more tension. Now we may fear that if we aren’t aggressive we are being submissive. That is not the case. Speaking up for who we are is assertive and can be done peacefully. We are not submissive, we have clear boundaries and we must honor them. We have power—we can decide if we want to be in relationship with men who treat us poorly or not. We can leave. It is important that we understand this—if we choose to stay in a toxic male dominant culture that is on us. We really have no right to complain. However, we have every right to express our perspective and needs. The most powerful way to do this is with grace…to say it calmly and clearly, only once, and in a low voice. This will have the greatest impact on men’s ears. Revealing our true nature, expressing ourselves with integrity and grace is the only real opportunity to bring toward us men who are more conscious, men who are a true complement, men who are worthy of who we are. These are sacred men…they are the mirror reflection of our vibe in the masculine essence. And thus they are the elite and thus our co-creators for a better world.
Now standing tall in our own power, we honor the power of men. We wake up and realize that men and women are completely different and that each is just as important and valuable to the peace of society and the health of the planet as the other. And we realize that it is best not to try to change the other…that is misguided and immature, actually rather ignorant–because we need each of us in the strength of our uniqueness for the world to be healthy. From this greater self-awareness and personal accountability, women find a strength of humility and we become powerfully vulnerable–meaning we are willing to let down our egos and open more authentically to men. That instead of continuing to see them through resentful filters, judging them harshly, and competing at trying to be better than they are at what they are good at, we begin to see who they really are and appreciate them and what they are good at. And we focus more on what we are good at…and realize it is best not to do what they do but rather help them find the importance of our feminine qualities, virtues, and skills. We give up suspicions and become more willing to see what is really in men’s hearts. In our vulnerability, we have the strength to admit our weaknesses and need for their support. And in our vulnerability, we have the strength to embody our true self and speak up for who we are and maintaining boundaries…advocating the importance of the feminine gifts we bring to the table. In our vulnerability, we find the courage and maturity to finally understand that we can never convince men of the value of the feminine…many need to evolve before they will get it. Yet many have.
Feeling true to ourselves, women become willing to explore better ways to connect with men, on a level that generates positive, exciting, and progressive consciousness-raising conversations…to communicate in ways that feel genuine. Rather than continuing to aggressively protect our specific gender-needs and stay in this tug-of-war, we can come together to look at this from a completely different perspective…a more conscious, awakened perspective–one that has a wise understanding of the true divine feminine and the true sacred masculine. And from this higher-level consciousness we begin to understand how we complement the other and learn that we become one when there is respect and openness. In the vibe of this connection, we are equal. Rather than competing with men to gain half the “world man-power,” we shift our focus to collaborating with like-hearted, like-minded, like-spirited men in redefining what kind of power we all really want to have, that we all really want to use to create a better world. Eventually men feel honored by women and women feel adored and respected by men.
Men and women need to come to an understanding that we are One and that our focus needs to be on common needs not just the wealth and power of a few. Women need to let go of demanding half the “manpower” (its not all it is cracked up to be). And men need to let go of holding on so tightly and defending their power. The only way a new world vision can happen is it takes both of us–it will take a lot of willingness to collaborate on new perspectives, new ideas, new values, to open to how the masculine and feminine fit together rather than how separate and thus competitive they are with each other. Having that said, women may need to go first…stop talking about ourselves and talk about the world and planet instead.