WHAT DO MEN WANT
There was a popular movie–What Do Women Want. For decades we have been focused on this because women have been unhappy…and speaking up. And we assume we know what men want because we interpret it through their answers to what we want. but just because men say no to something we want does not mean that is truly what they want…I would guess most of their “no”s are from habit. So perhaps it is worth taking a moment to stop telling them what we want in life and work and ask them what they want. And ask them a few other questions as well so that we can truly understand why they think the way they do and do the things they do.
These questions seem fair to ask because the answers would help women understand more about how men feel as well as how to begin to have a constructive conversation.
Since we are working together and that is not going to go away let’s sit down and take a look at how we can make our working relationship better. Let’s ask ourselves some hard questions and answer honestly. This means we need to put judgments aside and listen with an open heart and mind. Take courage we can do this…if we really want to. With actually begs the first question:
Do we really want a better world? What are we willing to do to create that? Are we willing to create that together…do we understand that that is the only way? Which leads us to the core question of this conversation: do we want to work well together? If so, how would we answer the following questions: do we really value the other? What are we willing to do to do that? Are we willing to look deep within rather than constantly at the other? Are we willing to change rather than constantly thinking the other should? Are we willing to be accountable and realize the stress we cause each other and commit to change that..not because we are willing to compromise but because we really want to…because we have gotten in touch with our deeper self and realize that being genuinely respectful, appreciative and kind means more ham our ego which keeps telling us to be selfish
- What is so scary about having women at the table? What is so alarming about considering that there may have been women apostles for that matter?
- Instead of trying to defend themselves, can men sit for just a moment and simply consider what it might feel like to be in our situation at work–start with what it would feel like to be paid less than someone else for doing the same job…because of favoritism.
- Why do men not want to stop and consider how a woman feels…at work? They may do fairly well at home, yet they just don’t want to do it about the circumstances at work. And the question is only directed at how women feel because they are patronized, dismissed, disregarded.
- Are men willing to change their behavior? It is becoming clear that one of the aspects of the tension between the sexes becomes much more aggravated than it needs to because of the habit of poor behavior between men and women. We have discussed the importance of women needing to change our behavior and reconnect with the “brilliance of feminine vibe” and how that supports us to behave with respect. Will men consider doing the same?