LOVE or EGO?

LOVE is not what we think Love is. What we think Love is only creates Drama.

What LOVE really is creates only Peace. 

LOVE is a Vibe of Being…not an emotion or behavior. 

LOVE is the Vibe of God The Universe. Love is vibing goodvibes, godvibes. 


LOVE is being awake to the goodvibesgodvibes flowing within our Body. They are innate. LOVE is honoring the Divine Being that we are. LOVE is honoring the divinity in the other. LOVE is seeing and being the sacredness of LIFE. And the behavior of LOVE is bringing this Vibe into our relationship with others, with Earth, and most especially, with our Self.

LOVE is living from the Truth of our own Heart. We “vibe LOVE” and infuse every situation, especially the hard ones, with presence, compassion, kindness, acceptance, humility, patience, tolerance, softness, humor, and intelligence. These are the true expressions of the LOVE-VIBE. The emotion of LOVE is complete, unconditional acceptance. We express ourselves openly, honestly. We allow others and situations to be as they are…we let go of the tug o war we battle within ourselves and with others when our expectations are not met. LOVE is walking away if “a connection is not a fit” rather than continuing to pull on the rope and exhaust everyone. LOVE is letting go of Drama.

LOVE is admitting how egoistic we are and instead making a commitment to being humble. LOVE is allowing guidance to come from within rather than from our mind (or from someone else). LOVE is admitting and accepting that Life is hard and always will be, and yet still taking responsibility and finding the courage to do what we can to make it better, easier, more simple, rather than wallowing in self-pity and resentment. LOVE is being our most compassionate selves while experiencing our pain and disappointment. It sounds super negative but Life will never be completely comfortable or painfree because it is Life, always changing, always surprising and challenging. LOVE is loving that about Life. LOVE is staying calm in the midst of this chaos called Life. And who knew, life actually doesn’t seem so hard then–we even start to enjoy it a bit.

LOVE is about “how we relate,” it is about “who we are.”

How is this different than what we are doing now? Because of our belief system, we completely misunderstand LOVE and make it a very messy, dramatic experience in our life–trying to control each other to “get Love.” We have minimized LOVE to an unhealthy emotion–one tied to “survival.” What we are or are not getting from someone becomes a measure of our worth, a part of our identity. What we are giving them becomes a way of measuring how much we value them. Perversely, we equate Love with Drama–control, possession, manipulation, and as a result we attack each other with Love “you don’t love me enough. I would love you more if only you would only… and so on.” We are in a tug-o-war for acknowledgment, attention, affection, acceptance, sex.” It ends up becoming a series of interactions filled with judgments and negative emotions blaming each other for our stress and fear in life. When we think we “love someone, love something,” we become obsessive about how to “get it”. We are filled with disappointment when we don’t and yet, we also become quickly disinterested when we do. This is our dysfunction, leading of course to all sorts of stress and drama.

This is not LOVE but rather an addiction to drama, an addiction caused by our patriarchal beliefs. It’s torturous. It’s exhausting. The root of our addiction is the belief in our society that “it is never enough–and if we don’t get more we won’t survive, we won’t live a meaningful life.” And yet ironically we are completely mistaken about what it takes to survive, and especially, what it takes to live a meaningful life. We have a hole within our heart that we can’t seem to fill, it is bottomless. We often cry tears of melancholy because our incessant struggle with life never seems to reap the benefits we so desperately want and fill it. And that is the point, we keep feeling desperate, feeling lost and empty, unwanted, and not knowing how to help ourselves. In such pain, we project our personal frustration out on the world, particularly into our intimate connections and call this Love—“if you love me enough you will fix this.” And of course, we know that is impossible. We are in this dilemma because we are a society that has no spiritual underpinning…we have no sense of connection with each other because we have no sense of connection with the Divine–this is the Hole.  We relate solely within this 3D world and refuse to accept there is so much more than this…and that makes us terribly depressed and desperate. Our Ego keeps our imagination in check so it keeps this value system, this mindset and mood, in place. We are vibing bad vibes.

The opposite is the case when we are the Vibe of LOVE. We have no hole–replaced with a commitment to continue to be awake to the divine vibes within our body. Feeling calmer, we put down the rope in the tug-o-war of life because we care more about connecting rather than wining, rather than whining. Instead of incessantly tugging on the rope where we are hunched over and struggling, we let go and stand tall, with humility and strength, and breathe with ease. We look each other in the eye and see each other. We relinquish any judgment or control over how they choose to live. We relinquish being upset about how they judge and try to control us. Especially, we give up trying to control how they do or don’t love us–we let go of trying to make them responsible for our happiness and feeling safe–responsible for our identity: that we are worth knowing and loving. We let go of the desperation of “having to have something we deeply want” because we accept that we may not always know what is best for us–and in fact this desire most likely came from our Ego and not our Heart. We focus instead on surrendering our idea of life and open to trusting the Universe. Let go, let God. We can continue to tug on the rope and keep trying to control everyone and everything trying to win. Or we could Vibe LOVE…drop the rope of drama and be humble and open to what happens now. We can release the persistent pain our resistance causes and trust if we are meant to have what we want or go where we hope, we will. This is our opportunity to be open to possibility, to partner with Life and the Divine. Can we let go of the rope?

LOVE is the Vibe of BEING. Conscious of it as the truth of Who We Are, we give up trying to control Life and instead, listen calmly to the guidance of our own Soul—our awareness is centered in our Body and we are feeling the sensations of our LOVE-VIBE. This is what it means to LOVE our self. There is no Ego aspect to this–like trying to convince ourselves that “I am smart. I am beautiful. I am successful.” LOVING yourself is simply being with the vibration of “I AM.” Therefore, we do our best to show up to every situation and relationship without forethought and judgment and instead, be curious about what we may experience/learn and what we may contribute/offer…what we may create. We are open to and willing to experience how someone truly is rather than how we want/wish them to be, open and willing to experience how Life is rather than how we wish It were. We are humble. Our intention is to be accountable for how we can respond so we expand LOVE, rather than Drama. Awakening, we begin to realize we were born with a destiny and our personal power is how we choose to respond on this journey–LOVE is the vibration of the Sovereign addressing each moment of Life with Grace.

It is not easy TO LOVE. It is impossible to live in the world and perfectly VIBE LOVE all the time. We are human after all. Therefore, it takes COMMITMENT TO find tools to help you SHIFT YOUR FEAR-VIBE back to the LOVE-VIBE…tools you will need in almost every moment of your Life. We can fool ourselves into thinking we don’t need these tools yet no matter who we are, we all struggle with this deep emptiness…and probably will for most of our life.

LOVE comes from giving up Drama and Vibing Peace…this is happiness.

Happiness comes from how much we LOVE Life. Unhappiness comes from how much we decide we should be getting from Life. Happiness comes from how much we LOVE our self and allow our self to experience all there is. 


Let’s discuss LOVE a bit more.

It may sound weird yet awakening to LOVE is not fun. There is an excitement to our dysfunctional way of Love, an adrenalin rush to our drama that we have become addicted to. If we give this up we are afraid life will become less interesting, less exciting, less entertaining, even less meaningful. Drama is all around us and though we say we are in pain and uncomfortable because of it, we continue to create it over and over and over…just like addicts continue to take drugs and alcoholics take a drink. We can’t stop ourselves. Yet there is a way to freedom. LOVE. Recovery from our drama will require we be willing to be aware of our delusions about Love.

We use the word “love” to declare that we are trying to relate in a very intimate and special way to someone or something. However, how we have defined the word “Love” as a culture is not LOVE. We have defined Love from our Egoistic perspective–we have defined it as a emotion of the material world, when in truth LOVE is of the highest spiritual vibration. We look at Love as “what I can give or get from you, and from Life, that will make me feel good about me and safe in life.” This is not LOVE. So we have set ourselves up for pain rather than joy. Demanding someone be a certain way to make you happy will only draw to you someone who has their conditions about how they need you to be to make them happy. Your connection has now become an egoistic negotiation not an expression of LOVE…and triggers our addiction to drama. What we need to realize is that LOVE is an expression of our Spiritual Self, not our Human Self. If we are unable to understand this, then we will continue to be in a tug o war with each other rather than vibe LOVE. Therefore, we will only end up always feeling unloved, disappointed and depressed.

And even more primary to our suffering is how we have defined God’s love–we believe that God shows “His” love by “His” mercy, by how “He” judges us–as a “good person or bad person, as holy or lowly.” However, just by the fact that we define God as “He”, giving God a persona ( a male with thoughts and emotions), is a clue to our misunderstanding of GOD and thus of LOVE. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.

is it Love? or is it LOVE?

If we are willing to consider that we may have this all wrong, that what we think is Love is not LOVE, and what we think is God, is not GOD, we can liberate ourselves and gain perspective of how we are living our life…giving us insight into why we are in so much pain. Needing the approval and love of others, even God, in order to feel good about ourselves will never make us happy. It only makes us desperate, constantly searching for Love.

We have lost connection with our Divine Truth. Since we have gotten ourselves so confused about the true meaning and experience of Love perhaps it’s a good idea if stop for a moment, step back, and begin to consider what it is that we are really seeking. Getting to the essence of it, we are seeking connection–honest, open, intimate relatedness with someone, with Life actually. When we can stand before another or in nature and feel completely whole, completely our self, completely at peace–when we can breathe with ease and feel lightness of being, when we can stand tall, open our heart, smile big and express our true self, that is LOVE. Is how you are living life, how you are relating to life, helping you feel this way? Is how you are relating to another and them to you, helping you feel this way? Is how you are relating to God, helping you feel this way? If not, then how you are relating is not LOVE. It is merely the dysfunctional way of trying to connect that we have adopted because of false, limiting, negative beliefs we have indoctrinated into our value system. And though it may seem impossible because we identify so much with these beliefs, since beliefs are merely thoughts we have, we can change them. It will be hard to do this because they seem so unshakable, so concrete, yet we built them that way and so we can tear them down. We are the Creator. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It is up to you.

LOVE is a STATE of BEING. LOVE is BEING your TRUE SELF. 

To begin to dissolve and unravel these false beliefs, our misunderstanding about LOVE, we first need to see that we have erroneously defined Love as a set of beliefs that come with a certain set of negative emotions and behaviors that we use to control others. Though our modus of operandi, on a deep level we know that this cannot be LOVE, this is not being our True Self. Now being our True Self may not always generate ease and peace with another person or even with our situation–given how they want to us to relate to them–yet being your True Self always generates peace within your own Heart and that is your purpose in life. This is LOVE.

So to better understand LOVE, perhaps it is worthwhile to look at how we relate, how we connect to another, and then from this see if there really is LOVE there. Perhaps instead of asking “how much do I love someone and how much do they love me,” so we can understand our relationship maybe it would be more informative to look at how “I relate to someone and how do they relate to me?” In other words, maybe looking at how we are behaving and at what we are giving and getting in the relationship and why we are focused on those particular things, we will begin to realize that we are not really loving them but rather trying to use them to fix something within ourselves. Perhaps instead of looking at how God, or our parents, or our children, or our partner, or society, “loves” us, maybe it would be more informative if we asked, “how does God relate to me, how do I relate to God, how do I relate to my partner and how does my partner relate to me, how do I relate to mom and how does mom relate to me?” And most importantly, how do I relate to myself? And once we have defined this “relatedness,” then we need to ask the most important question–is it healthy, does it create joy in me, does it create lightness of being in me and peace in my Heart? And if not, then why do I relate the way I do and ultimately why am I still in this relationship. This will compel us into deeper exploration, why do I continue to see Life through the beliefs that I do; and then, why do I continue to put myself in “draining” situations and relationships: and then, why do I continue to create drama in all my relationships, especially in the one with myself? Continue to slouch or stand tall? It is up to you.

The two most important relationships to look at are the ones with God and with our mother…as these seem to be the core influence on the relationship we have with our Self. Most of us relate to God and our mother through judgment. In other words, we seek their Love desperately and if we don’t feel it, we begin to believe it is because we are unworthy. We feel judged. Feeling judged, we decide we need to prove ourselves lovable and so end up withholding our True Self and doing all we can to meet God’s and mom’s expectations, to meet society’s expectations. Unfortunately, we only end up “relating disingenuously” to everyone and within every situation, …and through the rest of our life. Of course being inauthentic won’t create the real connection we crave nor keep us on our path to our full potential. And most especially, we have internalized all this and thus relate disingenuously, unkindly actually, with our Self.

Because of how we “see” Love, we keep choosing to turn over our personal power, our potential to be our best selves, to others, to mom, to society, even to God–we believe that how others treat us and what they think of us and what they tell us to do, and how they “love” us, is a reflection of our identity, of our worth as a human being. Feeling “less than” as we grow into adults, our relationships often become a tug o war…it goes something like this: “you don’t love me enough, you don’t recognize me enough, you don’t respect me enough, you don’t _____me enough, and I need you to love me just the way I want you to so I can heal, feel respected, feel loved, feel important, feel safe, because my mom forgot to do that for me and I feel so hurt and angry and you need to fix it. If you don’t, then that makes me an unlovable and unimportant person. And how dare you treat me like that.” Doesn’t this sound sad, and childish–and yet it is our normal disposition. And it is an absolute no-win situation: to give another that kind of power over us…to give our mother that much power over us, and especially to give God that much power over us, for our concept of God is the one central belief we orchestrate the direction of our life around, is very debilitating to our psyche. It is incredibly painful and so we act out, we perpetuate drama, we are addicted. However, we are awake to the problem now, and so perhaps it is time to consider new ways of Being in the world, new ways of relating to God, to mom, and to others…and most especially to our self. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.

When we stand tall, open our heart, smile big, and express our true self, that is LOVE.

The happy news is that we are awakening and have to become smarter now. We need to take responsibility for LOVING OUR SELF, for SELFLOVE. For how we SELFLOVE, influences how we OTHERLOVE, and how we OTHER LOVE influences how we PLANETLOVE. we need to take responsibility for how we are relating to ourselves. Are we respectful or relentlessly hard on our selves? We need to understand that others, and perhaps especially our mother, are just as confused about themselves and what LOVE really is as we are…they are just as wounded. So why would we let what “they” think about us matter so much–to the point of influencing our personal truth? Why would we accept the way they loved us as the meaning of LOVE? And we need to realize that to define God with human attributes is the underlying issue that is motivating all our dysfunctional beliefs and behavior in life. God is not in human form, male with emotions and thoughts and behaviors. God is God–God is LOVE-Vibration. The truth is when we allow ourselves to be aware of goodvibes that bring ease and flow into our body and peace and joy into our heart and mind, we are actually feeling godvibes and become aware of our True Self . We awaken and know we are more powerful than this victimized self, our False Self. So why do we keep functioning from this wounded perspective? Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.

LOVE OR EGO? IT’S UP TO YOU.

It is time for us to awaken and realize that LOVE is a Vibe of Being. LOVE is not a series of judgments and negative emotions–trying to control others, ourselves, Life. LOVE is the power to BE our best, our TRUE SELF, in all situations and interactions–it is the power to PARTNER WITH LIFE. LOVE is the power to allow the sacred vibrations that are innately within you to flow vibrantly into your consciousness and you feel FULFILLED, you feel LOVED. This then creates the sensation, the experience of LOVE, and you become conscious of who you truly are–YOU ARE LOVE. This fosters a healthy psyche; mental and emotional balance–healthy perspective and compassionate rationale–as differentiated from small-mindedness and righteousness. Vibing LOVE, you can now be “present”, calm and at ease with whatever is happening and respond with greater intelligence and compassion. Vibing LOVE you can now see the Divine Being, the LOVE-vibe, in your partner, in the world. NAMASTE.

From this centeredness, instead of doing the dysfunctional dance of trying to change someone to fit you, you can see if this person is a natural, true fit for you or not…and let go if not–this is TRUE ROMANTIC LOVE. Vibing LOVE, you can now see the Divine Being, the LOVE vibe, in your children, and from this centeredness treat them as powerful souls rather than those who are supposed to do what you tell them to do so you can feel like a proud parent–this is TRUE PARENTAL LOVE. Vibing LOVE, you can now see the Divine Being, the LOVE vibe, in others and from this centeredness respect what they believe and live in harmony even if you don’t agree–this is TRUE PLUTONIC LOVE. Vibing LOVE, you can see the Divine Being within your co-workers and the quality of your connection to your job and experience whether it is a fit or not–this is TRUE PROFESSIONAL LOVE. In other words, you now can partner with LIFE, try on every relationship and situation and evaluate how it serves you based upon the vibrations you feel in your body, in your Being. And most especially, you can assess how you are relating to, how you are treating, your Self…with LOVE…with lightness of being and compassion or not. If not, you need to let go of this relationship and find the one with your Self that allows you to BE YOUR TRUE SELF, TO BE LOVE ITSELF.  Continue to slouch or stand tall. It’s up to you.

In conclusion, from this consciousness, we can look back and instead of struggling with feeling loved or unloved by our mother, we can instead look at how our mother “related” to us–for example, my mom was not affectionate, not attentive, was critical and judgmental, pushy and controlling, angry a lot, and so on. We took this to mean she did not Love us. The truth is that she, like so many of us struggling in life, simply was not very present, not her best self and didn’t know how to express LOVE. She was a wounded child too…and only knew what she knew was Love. In other words, how we have defined Love up to now comes from our limited consciousness about who we truly are–from our belief that we are merely human and thus don’t really have any power to explore new understandings about God, Life, and Love. Exploring our own spirituality was not permissible. Yet as we awaken, we are beginning to understand that it is just the opposite–to explore Life and thus our understanding and experience of LOVE is our purpose for existence. Being daring enough to challenge all that we have known about Love, about GOD, is how we evolve. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It is up to you.

We are beginning to realize that LOVE is not dramatic and controlling and stressful and wanting and blaming and desperate and resentful and obligatory…all the ways we use it. LOVE is simply and brilliantly a vibration, a sacred sensation that flows through us from the Cosmos. LOVE is goodvibesgodvibes. And depending upon how aligned and thus “open or closed” the channels in our body are affects the flow of this vibe into our consciousness and out into the world–through our body’s aura, through our thoughts and emotions, through our actions. This means we are choosing to be awake or not to the true meaning of LOVE, and choosing whether or not to release the dysfunctional love defined and controlled by our Ego. We have defined Love this egoistic way so we can remain in our addiction to drama. We keep getting high on the “adrenalin rush of negative, righteous emotion” so we can keep suffering. This is very weird to consider of course and yet it is the truth of our choices. This is our Ego in its most powerful and dysfunctional vibration–using the most precious aspect of our lives, Love–that which keeps us connected to God and each other–in a hugely distorted manner to keep us disconnected and unconscious. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.

Yet if we can awaken and shift our beliefs and begin to allow ourselves to feel LOVE flowing through us, we will begin to shift and raise our consciousness out of the weighty, imprisonment of 3rd dimensional living, into a more authentic, genuine, open-hearted way of life…tapping into the 4th, even 5th dimension of conscious space. Letting our awareness expand like this, LOVE-Vibe expands and dissolves our neediness, our belief that we were somehow cheated as a child from what we deserved and thus destined to never find it. This LOVE-vibration helps us look back and see our childhood with more rationale and objectivity. Vibing LOVE–taking a deep breathe, standing tall, and smiling big, and allowing goodvibesgodvibes to flow freely–you feel “present”, calm and at ease. You feel natural and empowered. Not only do we feel that we are healing from our childhood, something even more profound happens. We realize that we were and are whole, always were and will be….there really is nothing to heal from. It really is a matter of where we put our attention, what we choose to believe in, our willingness to open our mind and expand our consciousness. Feeling “present, feeling our True Self,” creates a great sense of freedom; free to feel anything we want about our self and our life, free to think anything we want, free to do anything we want, free to create our life any way we want.

Feeling free of dysfunction, our mind expands because we are standing in the HERE and NOW, in the realm of everything–past, present and future, the realm of creativity and creation, the realm of LOVE-Vibration. Filled, you exude LOVE into the world and this draws to you the “best” relationships and jobs and friends and opportunities–those that support your LOVE-vibe perspective and living. This draws to you the LOVE-Vibe in others. They are a resonance with you, a complement to your Heart and Truth. You instinctively feel and express LOVE. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.

VIBE OF LOVE. STATE OF EGO.

BREEEEAAATHE and you feel the difference from what your Ego creates in your life–the heavy, suffocating vibes of drama–and what LOVE vibrations create in your life–the lightness, flowing vibes of Joy in your body. Your Body is your Guide. As a result, you realize now what is important in life–to protect this Vibe of Being. So you choose beliefs and behaviors that resonate with this. You choose ways of thinking about and interacting with others that keep the LOVE-Vibe strong within you. Meaning, you release negative judgments and controlling behaviors and transform dramatic emotions into calming acceptance and tolerance–breeeathe. How do you know if you are releasing the grasping energy of the Ego? Take a moment and notice if you are breathing fully. Allow yourself to feel your inner world…are you calm, do you feel a spaciousness within, does your chest feel light, are you aware of an inner abiding peace? You innately know this is LOVE, the god-force within you. You know this is the reason for your existence–to dwell in this, to create from this, to expand this. You know that when you are egoistic, this energy contracts because you feel your body contract and you become disappointed and unhappy. You slouch. And now you have a  reference point to know when you are in the Vibe of LOVE or in the State of EGO. Continue to slouch or stand tall? It’s up to you.

LOVE–The Divine Being within Me bows to the Divine Being within You–NAMASTE


A Simple, Happy, Healthy Way to Vibe Love

There is no way around this….you need to make the decision that you want to live life with greater consciousness and accountability. Meaning, it will not happen otherwise. It won’t be easy, nor fun, and life may not feel like it is getting better for a long time. Yet the opportunity to live from more from your Heart and Spirit than from your Mind and Ego is priceless. Learning to Vibe LOVE you will see the great beauty of the human experience and nature. The only alternative is to stay in the dark of fear.

1. DETOX FROM DRAMA

Detoxing will be difficult of course. Recovery from our Drama will require that we be willing to become aware of our delusions and admit our addiction to drama-adrenalin. This takes moment by moment diligence of paying attention to ourselves, to our mind. Our Ego is insidious and loves to make us think the worst about others and life, especially when we are alone. LOVE helps us be aware and thus accountable for  the truth that when we are trying to manipulate others or situations for our own agenda it is because we are in pain, we are trying to fill a hole within. WE must accept our weakness and realize that instead of having the courage to feel our pain and go through it, we are trying to avoid it even to the point of making others responsible. LOVE is feeling the pain, breathing and doing nothing about it in relationship with anyone else. It is of our own making so it is of our own resolving.

Steps to Detox

Drop the rope in the tug o war of drama–you know when you are about to “get into it”…Breathe and stop. Feels so good.

Do something kind for someone or healthy for the earth–smile, breathe and do it. Feels so good.

Forgive yourself when you tug on the rope again…and start with #1. You will do it millions of times–so do

Accept that life is hard. Let go of thinking it should be all “happiness.” We don’t even really know what that is…because the happiness we seek ironically only makes us unhappy. Make your life more simple that that–that you will do what you can to not make your life harder than it needs to be

2. LET LOVE LIVE YOU.

Keep yourself conscious of your own divinity, awake to your Divine Truth and True Self, as much as you can throughout your day–not just when you are on your yoga mat or kneeling in church. You will feel good and feeling good you will think good thoughts and do good things.The Truth is we live a much happier and healthier life when we are spiritually grounded. We are learning that when we are conscious of our inner spirit, our True Self, we feel good, think more positively, behave more respectfully and with kindness…we are also much more intelligent. You could say we are much more heartfelt. We feel peaceful and calm and have no need to control anyone or anything. We stop judging others and wishing they were different. We stop wishing life were different. We begin to accept things and feel more patient. We begin to see life not as a hard challenge but as a Great Adventure. We actually feel FREE to JUST BE.

Stand Tall, Open Your Heart, and Smile Big…and let LOVE flow–goodvibesgodvibes