We are embarrassed to give our body loving attention. In fact we actually often mistreat our body–with over work, poor eating habits, addictions, a sedentary lifestyle and a lot of criticism. We will at times allow ourselves to get a massage or take a spa, yet we rationalize and validate doing these things by telling ourselves it will help reduce our stress so we stay healthier, are more focused at work, better able to deal with the pressures at home, and look better. And many will say that their healthy lifestyle shows they love their body and that is true…yet it is not so much the holistic, intimate love that we are referring to on this spiritual journey. However, doing these healthy things with a more conscious intention to love your body will begin to deepen your relationship with your body which will begin to change your whole perspective of your life, and of how and who and why you love..the intention to bodylove activates the gateway to learning to love yourself and thus to living a more fulfilling life.
WE have believed that our body is merely a vessel, often REINFORCED by religious teachings. yet it is the manifestation of our soul.
BODYLOVE IS THE GATEWAY TO SELFLOVE
What helps us to make this intention to love our body is to first open and experIence our “innate love consciousness” through meditation, and particularly for women through Body-Meditation. Unlike more traditional eastern meditation practices that focus on the mind, Body-Meditation techniques focus on “raising our body’s vibe”, our body’s yummy energy, and awakening to our sacred body-consciousness. This technique helps us relax and open and we begin to experience our innate, soulful Love-Vibe sending soothing sensations, like love-messages, of compassion and loving-kindness throughout our body and into our mind. We become more conscious of the undeniable “holiness of our body”…and thus are more willing to love our body…even get to the point where we can say “I love my body,” if it is only to our self.
In the more traditional practice of meditation, Buddha guides us to look for the space between our thoughts. We are seeking the present moment: the portal to peace. And if we find this space and are able to stay within it consciously for a while, we often find insights and understandings to help guide us. This is hugely powerful. Yet often the mindfulness-meditation technique, which is to sit quietly (under the bodhi satva tree) and watch how our mind creates havoc without letting ourselves become victim to it, is a bit of a challenge for many of us. We find it hard to quiet our mind–our egos are so strong…telling us “this is a waste of time.” So we don’t meditate. And some of us might try praying which is also powerful…yet that may lead to feeling a bit disempowered because we are asking some deity outside of our self for relief and when relief doesn’t seem to come we feel rather discouraged…right back where we started. Relief usually doesn’t come this way because having left our experience in “someone” else’s hands we are at the effect of what may happen. Rather, learning to help ourself find the relief is key to true peace…our body is the way.
Q is YOU helps us use body-meditation technique because particularly for women turning to our mind for relief, for understanding about who we are and guidance about life, may not be the best process. Trying to “figure it out” and trying to talk ourselves into loving our selves and loving our body and loving our life often only leads to feeling dominated by our mind and thus feeling more confusion, self-criticism, regret and worry. Our mind only knows the regrets of the past which become the worries of the future that turn into judgments of the present: our mind is so ego-dominant in its perspective that it is hard to escape its influence and thus impossible to find the “space of peace and love between our thoughts. Women need to “feel” the love instead of try to “think” the love into existence. Most especially, by not working intentionally with our body, we are missing the wisdom of our body’s direct communication with the Universe. It’s all in our vibe!
We seek the space between the thoughts because we are seeking the “present moment” the true portal into the creative cosmos. It may exist in the space between the thoughts yet it also exists and is more easily accessed through the body.
Our body is the only part of us that dwells in the present moment. And because your body is the manifestation of the unique cosmic vibrations that make you you, learning to keep your channels to this energy open and becoming conscious of this yummy vibration flowing through you will keep you in the present moment…and connected with your true self, with your true heart and soul. You will begin to feel and hear the answers that you seek. The answers come from our body’s direct communication with the mystical–your body is the holy grail, it is the manifestation of this power. These are the “ahas” that we all find so magical–they are your new thoughts because they come from the Creative Cosmos (vs from your ego which only knows past and thus biased thoughts). The vibes within your body encourage new beliefs that help positively change your perspective of the past and thus change who you are and your behavior today–which is the precursor to your future, the beginning of becoming the woman you want to be…a woman centered in her body and behaving with kindness and wisdom–a queen, an empress. And as a remarkable result, you will begin to experience a truly genuine, intimate, affectionate love for your body and yourself.
The BODYLOVE MEDITATION
This is a very intimate meditation–it is you showing affection, kindness, appreciation, acceptance, and love for your body. It is you romancing your body. The only way to learn to love your body–and thus yourself–is to show your body you love it, rather than just try to tell yourself you love it.
Find a place in which you feel safe and is quiet and comfortable. Sit tall in a chair or up tall crossed-legged in bed. Close your eyes and begin to take slow, smooth, full breathes all the way down into your belly. Let your belly and chest expand and feel the sensations of this fullness: the vibes of the rejuvenating and healing breath and divine energy. Notice how good this feels. Now feel your hips heavy on the chair or bed and imagine your body rooting into the Earth from your tailbone by extending a column from your hips (a grounding cord) down into the center of the Earth–feel grounded, heavy in your body. Feeling anchored, now lengthen up through your torso, neck, and head and imagine a ray of light coming down from the Cosmos through the crown of your head–your crown turns gold. Take a cleansing breath and let any tension release down your “grounding cord.” Keep your breath smooth as you imagine energy from the Earth coming up and energy from the Cosmos coming down and beginning to merge in your solar plexus and heart chakras–imagine they are merging into your unique vibe…who you are. Do a gentle Kegels contraction to capture this energy in your body.
Feel the energy in your pelvic bowl, in your hips, and with another gentle, easy contraction starting in your pelvic floor and moving up through your ABS, feel this sacred energy move up your body and into your head. See your chakras contract to the size of a quarter or so helping to contain this sacred energy in your body–when our chakras are over-expanded we lose our personal power. And realize this energy is you, your true nature–and as it moves up it is the blending of body and mind. You are your sovereign self right now–both human and divine. Now bring your attention to the center of your head and feel the space of the universe here (behind your third eye) and breathe–imagine your are the Queen sitting on her throne–with a view above all that is happening in your life–seeing it yet not needing to engage in it–a “higher perspective.”
Now, begin to focus on your heart center. Breathe in and out from your heart and notice how good this feels. As you feel your chest open feel your heart expand and open. Notice the sensations and imagine these yummy vibes are Love-vibes. Now place the palm of your right hand on your heart and imagine these vibes, these sensations getting stronger–the warmth of your hand will help. By placing your hand on your chest you have just made conscious contact with your body–therefore now begin to use this yummy energy of compassion and loving-kindness to consciously express love toward your body and then toward yourself. Take your hand away and feel the difference–that with no physical contact with your body you can feel your body here in time and space yet have sort of lost your conscious relationship with it. Yet when you touch yourself this intimate relationship is immediately established. So often in life we hug others or place a gentle hand on their shoulder to let them know we care and that we love them and that we are here for them–to connect affectionately with them. We never really think of doing that for ourself. Yet we are the first and most important person we should be doing this for. This action of a gentle touch on our own body begins the journey of Bodylove–of telling our mind that we are committed to loving our body…and thus ourself. And from this power of selflove we can authentically love another and the planet.
THE ROMANTIC BODYLOVE SCAN
Now that we have established a safe, trusting, and loving relationship with our body and our self in this moment, the rest of the meditation is going to become more intimate and “romantic.” You are going to scan your body with your hands and with your gentle touch acknowledge each part of your body as precious and important and beautiful…and that you love and appreciate it–at least accept it. Keep in mind you may not feel these things at first…it is ok. The important thing is to at least postulate that you think this…sometimes we need to fake till we make it. This loving behavior is critical to connecting emotionally with your body and thus with your true self and to cultivating your commitment to learn to love your body and treat it well. Remember The 6Bs of Transformation concept of “reciprocating influences”–how we behave influences what we think and feel and thus by changing our behavior we can change what we think and believe. With more loving behavior toward our body we activate our innate love for our body. This then becomes the root of our intimate relationship with our body and this starts to transform who you are, influencing our new self-loving beliefs raising our self-esteem–becoming the woman you want to be…creating the happy, more fulfilling life your soul desires.
Now of course this body-meditation technique will be challenging for most of us at first…yet you will be amazed how the resistance you may have to being intimate with your body begins to fall away, dissolved by your innate Love-vibes. You realize that being intimate with your body is your gateway to being intimate with your soul. When you get to the parts of your body that feel challenging, probably those that are sexual, like your pelvic floor, your butt, your breasts and even your belly and neck, most likely you will feel emotions like embarrassment or foolishness. You will hear judgments of “too fat, too thin, too this, too that–not good enough.” If so, make sure to keep breathing, slowly, smoothly, and gently and extend compassion to yourself. Know that these feelings are OK…yet also know they are negative and false judgments that come from old teachings in life, and still run in dysfunctional mainstream thinking about how a woman should look. Trust that you now have the courage to let them go–they are not the Truth about the beauty of the Divine Feminine, for example She is voluptuous not thin as a rail. Do your best to let go of these old beliefs–let go of these teachings that made you believe that your body is not holy because it is not perfect or beautiful or sexy; or beliefs that your body is your servant and giving it love is selfish and even naughty or base…most religions frown on any intimacy with your body and you may feel that you are doing something wrong. If this arises stop a moment and consider whether these beliefs make sense. The only way we can be our best selves in life is to know ourselves well and to have a trusting and loving relationship with our self–and that means a conscious connection with our body and soul. Take a moment to ask yourself and really consider whether or not you really know your own inner Divine Truth–do you really know what you trust and believe in–is what you believe your Truth or is it someone else’s, is there some other belief that is really your truth?—you will find your answer in the sensations of your body. It’s all in Your Vibe!
Let yourself have any of the judgmental or anxious thoughts, yet also keep breathing deeply and just see if by chance some of these feelings and thoughts begin to shift and become lighter, even dissolve a bit. What can help is that when the negative thought or emotion comes up pay close attention to what you feel in your body–tightness, anxiety, fear–and breathe into the tension, rather than allow your mind to start thinking. Meaning try not to take “issue” with the thought or emotion–don’t try to wish that you didn’t feel this way or try to talk yourself into not feeling this way or wondering why you feel this way…this is all just the mind trying to take control of your experience and distance you from this sacred healing. Keep breathing and see if the energy in your body shifts. And remember, the Ahas are not in your mind but in your body. Your slow, smooth breathes will keep helping your body to relax and this will help to activate your loving and compassionate vibes and your emotions toward yourself will become kinder. Keeping our body relaxed is the path of alignment with the Universe…you are “vibing” as your sovereign self. And soon emotional and mental relief will come and your thoughts will begin to shift into wonder rather than judgment and you will start to awaken with the realization of how remarkable your body is. And eventually you will begin to think new thoughts and start to formulate new beliefs about how holy and precious your body is and thus how holy and special you are.
THE SCAN of SENSUALITY–A WOMAN’S POWER: To begin the scan, start with your feet. As you do the scan you can take as little or as long a time as you want with each body part–a gentle passing touch or a few minutes massaging it. It is completely up to you…your inner self will guide you. As you gently touch each body part, offer it a message of kindness, love, acceptance or appreciation–whichever feels right or all four. As you do, feel the release, feel how good this body part feels to be touched. Put your consciousness into this body part and listen to its appreciation and message back to you. For example, give your feet a gentle massage–tell your feet you appreciate them for all they do and thank them (literally), ask them what they might like to share with you about what they need or what they think is cool about themselves and cool about you. All kinds of weird and powerful things may come up, just let them–they are the magic messages. If the energy feels negative extend more conscious compassion to yourself and help this heal. If positive then luxuriate in the yummy sensations. What is often so interesting in this experience is that the positive message you get about you is a subconscious belief you have had about yourself but never allowed yourself to think.
Continue on and move your hands to your ankles and calves and so on up through your body. Most especially, be sure not to move too quickly through your sexual self for these are the energy centers that have been the most suppressed and need a bit more attention and time to open and heal and thus become stronger. They need to be really loved. Keep in mind it is your sexual self that is the root of your sensual self which is the source of your lust for life and your power to create and manifest your dreams…it is your Empress-Vibe. As queen, you need to have these sacred vibrations of your sovereign vibe (like the chords that make one melody in music) flowing strongly to be in your full divine feminine nature. Now if you are a bit more courageous as you touch your sexual/sensual self, do a gentle Kegel contraction. Notice how it is the initial sensation of an orgasm and how feeling this vibration in your body helps mover your desire, your lust, your passion….soon you will start realizing how this vibration influences your creative nature.
The Kegel contraction helps to ignite our sensual vibration in our root chakra. Moving this energy up our spin we become aware of our Divine Feminine vibrations: The Empress-Vibe: sensual and sexual; The Mother-vibe: nurturer and connector; The Sage-vibe: wise and spiritual.
Mantras are very powerful in helping you to continue to dissolve old limiting beliefs. These here may help and yet the most powerful will be ones you create for yourself–more personalized for your journey of liberation into happiness and peace.
- Though I may feel uncomfortable I want to learn to love my body and my self.
- My body is a creation of the Divine and as such deserves to be honored and loved.
- I am loving and lovable.
- I am sensual and sexy.
- I am beautiful.
THE MIRROR BODYLOVE SCAN AND SOUL CONNECTION
After you have done this BodyLove body-meditation technique a few times, you will begin to feel more open, accepting and loving toward your body, the next step is to do the same thing in front of a mirror. And yes, your eyes are open! And though this may feel super uncomfortable it is the most powerful way to create the intimate bond with your whole self…you are engaging yourself from the outside and inside.
You create a conscious connection with your soul through a loving and intimate relationship with your body, the most important relationship in your life.
As you would expect you are going to look at each part of your body as you gently touch it and pay attention to what you feel by both your touch and now what you see. Judgmental thoughts will immediately jump up…we are so conditioned to it. Allow them yet don’t indulge them–let them flow through your mind and out with your exhale. Pay attention to how you feel when you look at each body part and do your best to see it without judgment…do this as much as you can from the perspective of your sovereign self–meaning notice the beauty of your skin and the curves of your foot, ankle and calf, thigh, butt, breast and now wonder at the life-force flowing through you and the magic of your body. Then bring your attention back to the sensations you feel at the gentleness of your touch and see yourself in the mirror being kind and loving to your body…as you would want your lover to touch you. Keep breathing as you go through this meditation. If tension or anxiety arises, breathe and slow down your exhale…let it carry any negativity out of your body.. As you gently move through your body, tell each body part that you accept it, and when comfortable, that you love it.
Finish this meditation by looking at your face in the mirror and gently touch it, outlining its features with your fingers. And then look at yourself in the eyes–the windows to YOU. Try to hold the gaze for a few moments as you would a friend. It is interesting that we are able to hold the gaze of a friend yet not ourself. However, we need to realize that this is the ultimate moment of conscious connection with ourselves. How many times do we look others in the eyes looking for that moment of intimate contact with their souls, yearning to get to know and understand them better. This is the same thing yet with ourselves. It is interesting that in this world culture we are so discouraged to meet and get to know our bodies and ourselves…and yet it is the only way to live a happy life, to fulfill our destiny.
It is interesting to contemplate where these self-disrespect and even self-hate beliefs came from and why?